A world without pepper sprays

For the two years that I lived in Chicago, I carried a pepper-spray with me at all times. I happened to read a statement issued by the Chicago police department urging women to be responsible for their own safety. This was part of a report on sexual assault cases in the city. I ended up having to buy pepper sprays multiple times because I would keep forgetting to leave it at home when catching a flight. Zealous TSA officials made sure I tossed my pepper spray key-chain into the waste basket at the airport every single time. But I would come back from my trip and order one online. I am happy to report that I never needed to use it, but it provided me with a sense of security on the several occasions I found myself walking alone through the nighttime streets of Chicago.

I've been reading about the increasing incidence of violent sexual crimes in India for a while now. There were two especially horrific cases in Delhi. I've felt a whole range of emotions on the issue. I started with trying to minimize the issue - this can't really be a sudden spurt in sexual violence, can it? It must be that these crimes are now getting reported more often than not. The fact that more people are now reporting these violations is a good thing, right? But that fallacious argument did not take anything away from the ghastliness of the crimes, reported or unreported. 

I then moved on to denial. These things only happen in Delhi. We all know that it's among the most dangerous cities in the country. Something like this could never happen in Bombay, right? After all, I've walked alone on streets of Bombay past midnight, without a pepper spray. Not because I was brave, adventurous, or foolish, but because I've always felt safe and carefree in that city. That bubble burst today morning when I read about the rape of a young journalist in Mahalaxmi.

If I allow myself to completely feel the white fury and sense of outrage that is a more common response to these events, I end up almost throwing up. But violence - dastardly, mind-numbing, soul-crushing violence, sexual or otherwise - is not new to the human race. We've been perpetrators, victims and witnesses to centuries, nay, millenia of unspeakable acts of violence against each other. I suspect that the answer to the urgent question of "why are these violent rapes occurring?" is really just a subset of the answer to the question "why does any violent crime occur?" There might be some nuanced differences, but at its core, violence of any kind springs from the same vile fountain. Finger-pointing at the objectification and portrayal of women in Bollywood movies is pointless, and more importantly, off the mark. Gang rape and sexual violence committed on 5 year-olds is not the stuff that Hindi movies are made up of, so it's time we stopped making an entire industry the scapegoat for the worst of humanity.

Eventually, I lapse into despair and guilt. Despair at there being no sight of an end to people harming one another. Despair at the hopelessness and inefficacy of the Indian judicial system. Guilt that the best I can do is advise women to carry pepper sprays with them. Guilt at not being part of any kind of solution to this. But a flicker of hope, that a world without violence may still be possible some day, even if I don't live to see it. I hope, fervently, for a world that has no need for pepper sprays.